I work shifts, four days on four days off, as a firefighter. This gives me a huge advantage in terms of the time I spend with my daughter.
We took part in fun activities, crafts and toy sharing sessions together – and despite the internet portraying a more equal world, I was usually the only dad present.
Maybe that's why when my daughter started school, I felt like I was suffering from a mild form of empty nest syndrome. I wanted to cultivate our bond, so I decided to plan a trip – just for the two of us.
We are English so I thought it would be best to stay in Europe, even though I have traveled to Japan twice with my wife and daughter. (I admit, taking a long-haul flight without your mother was a terrifying concept).
I checked the flights, budget, and travel times that would allow her to sleep intact, narrowing my list to two destinations: Porto, Portugal, or Bergen, Norway. Then I asked my daughter if she wanted to go somewhere warm or cold. To my surprise she chose cold, so that was Bergen.
A natural icebreaker
We left for Manchester airport much earlier than necessary, which gave us more time to play spy and talk to people in the terminal. My child's confidence and sweetness were an icebreaker and we connected with many more people than if I had traveled alone.
Landing in Bergen, Norway after traveling from Manchester.
Source: Thomas Board
I tactically booked an airport hotel to relax from our first night in Bergen. But we both arrived full of energy. When the lights went out, she fell asleep almost immediately and I lay awake. I was an excited child now, delighted with the journey ahead of us.
My daughter exudes confidence that I hope she never loses.
The next day we took the train to the city center and I already knew that Norway was the right choice. The tunnels and stunning topography were rivaled only by humans.
My daughter exudes confidence that I hope she never loses. At every stop, she gave the locals a “thumbs up” sign, always receiving a reciprocated gesture and smile in return. She quickly moved on to the two-handed love heart sign, which was mirrored by a young Norwegian couple. Once enough real hearts had melted, she returned to the coloring book the hotel concierge had given her that morning.
“Children come first” in Norway
From the efficiency of the train to the cleanliness of the city streets, Norway reminded me of Japan.
The similarities to the “Land of the Rising Sun” continued throughout our trip: funny beeps at intersections, the predominance of 7-Eleven convenience stores, reserved but kind people, subtle and mature fashion choices, great customer service, tasty food, and endless kindness towards children .
“My desire to nurture our bond and rekindle my old love of solo travel led me to begin researching how to travel as a couple,” said Thomas Board.
Source: Thomas Board
“In Norwegian culture, children are the most important thing,” a mother told me at VilVite, a children's science museum in Bergen. We talked about what an impression the museum made on the children and how employees on every corner cared about improving the children's learning conditions. The museum, opened 17 years ago, looked completely new. Exhibits change regularly, so local parents keep coming back.
As we talked, my daughter was playing with other children, building cars out of Lego bricks to test them on the undulating wooden track, which ended up smashing them to pieces.
The VilVite Science Center welcomes approximately 120,000 guests annually.
Source: Thomas Board
Raising children in Norway is different from raising them in England. There is a monthly cap on childcare costs, which encourages both parents to work and increases gender equality in the labor market. Children don't start school until the age of six, which gives them more time with the family. The country's low crime rate means children go to school or to other family members' homes on their own, another similarity to Japan.
Our trip was guided by loose plans, and I let my child take the lead as much as possible. We ate pancakes in the harbor, laughing at the loud horns of nearby cruise ships. We took the cable car to the top of Mount Fløyen, headed out to the lake and glided over the rocks along the water's edge. Along the way we saw cairns, which are small piles of stones that usually mark an important place. My daughter insisted on building her own, after one of her favorite stuffed animals.
On the top of Mount Fløyen, one of the seven mountains surrounding the city of Bergen.
Source: Thomas Board
We spent the rest of our short vacation exploring the cobbled streets and alleys of the safe and quiet city, often taking photos of the eclectic street art. Our hike took us to a toy store, parks, an ice cream shop, a fire station, and a large church with a choir practicing inside.
A moment to remember
On our last night together, we sat on our hotel bed, me with a reindeer hotdog and my daughter with a box of leftover pizza. She watched children's programs on TV, not caring that she didn't understand a word.
It was an unplanned and simple moment, but I will remember this memory forever. We were both happy and fulfilled after a day full of father-daughter adventures, without any responsibilities or thoughts about the future.
Discovering works of art dotted around Bergen, including a bronze statue called “The Homeless Man”.
Source: Thomas Board
No matter how spontaneous you are, parenting inevitably falls into a rut. Even “fun” can involve unwritten resolutions, worries, and planning.
That's why alone time is crucial to truly enjoy our children – time when we forget about work, housework, bills and everything else that can burden life. Exploring new territories, solving problems and having fun as a duo, many kilometers from home, is one of the best experiences I have had as a parent.
I wonder if my four-year-old will remember this trip when she grows up.
I know I will. I'm already planning my next trip.