Parents want their children to trust them. They want to be the first person to whom their child turns with great things, hard things and exciting things. They They want their children Feel safe enough to ask questions and share your emotions.
But none of this happens automatically, and trust simply does not come from the saying: “You can talk to me.”
Instead, you go first. Be open and honest. Show them how to move uncomfortable emotions and difficult situations. The model is.
It sounds simple, but parents don't always know how to use it. Here are six things you can do every day to build trust with your child:
1. Normalize talking about feelings
How Two -time life and therapist specialistI support families through some of the most difficult conversations that you can imagine – including illness, hospitalization, injury and losses. I learned that these moments are easier when children are exposed to open communication every day, not only when life becomes difficult.
When children see adults who call and divide their own feelings, They learn that the same thing is done. It gives them a quiet, unwritten permission to open.
It may sound: “I'm a bit worried that we'll be late for school and work. Let's work together.”
It's about modeling. When we Name emotions out loud – Both good and uncomfortable – we teach our children that feelings are not something to hide.
2. Do not avoid difficult things
When children watch their adults avoid some topics, they quickly find out what is “abroad” and may worry about them.
It may look like a skipping fact that the error has died or repealed the question about someone who uses a wheelchair. But these are the possibilities. When we avoid uncomfortable or unknown, we teach children that conversations do not belong to our home.
Instead, try to create a space in which all questions are welcome, curiosity meets calmly, and honesty is part of everyday life.
Try to use these phrases To move with difficult conversations with the child.
3. Be honest with your own challenges
For many parents, emotional openness does not come naturally. Maybe you didn't grow up at a house where people showed or divided their feelings freely. All right.
You can still give your child something different. You can even start by sharing what is difficult to open: “I did not grow up, talking about my feelings, but I want to do it with you – because I know it is important and helpful.”
This level of honesty builds a connection. He shows the child that emotional openness is not perfect – it is about being present and willing.
4. Model, do not hear
We all asked: “How was the day?” And he was shruggy or one word.
Try to reverse him. Instead of asking the child to open up first, share something from your own day: “Today there was a kind of mountain queue. I was excited about something in the morning, but then something did not go as I expected, and I felt frustrated. I went and felt better until the end of the day. And now I am excited, seeing you and hear you about your day.”
These reflection models i emotional awarenessAnd teaches children how to do the same.
5. Talk to a real conversation in your routine
One simple but powerful way Keep communication flow It is to build it in family routine.
We do “high high in my house“ At dinner. Each person divides the most important event of the day, something that was difficult and another positive moment.
Even my youngest – only two years – asks for this night. He became a rhythm that creates space for both joy and fight, woven into everyday life.
6. Teach yourself to cope strategies
When you talk about feelings, you also open the door to talk about coping skills that can help you deal with them.
For example, after publicizing the frustration, you can follow her: “When I feel like this, I try to take a deep breath to help my body calm down.”
You can even practice a few calming breaths before bedtime. This is a simple, powerful way to show that regulation of emotions is normal and feasible.
Trust is built in small times
Children always watch. Not only do they hear what you say – they notice how you say it, when you say and what you avoid.
If you want your child to trust you in great things, show them that they can trust you with little things. Check their feelings and show them that what they mean matters. Model Honesty. Normalize emotions. And create a space for real conversations – even if they are disordered or hard.
When you go first, your child can see how it happened and follow the lead.
Kelsey Mora He is a certified specialist in the life of children and a licensed clinical advisor who provides non -standard support, tips and resources for parents, families and communities to which medical conditions, trauma, regret and stress in everyday life affected. She is a private owner of the practice, mother of two, creator and author Skoroszytyte methodsand the clinical director of the Non -Profit organization PICLE Group.
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