Many of us already know the components Healthy relationship – Things like strong communicationtotal honesty and unwavering commitment. But Most people don't really know What are these features in practice.
As a result, couples can be found in unhappy. Even worse, they do not recognize this because of unhealthy habits, such as emotional numbness, suppression or normalization problems. When you get stuck in your relationship and routine, it is difficult to stop and evaluate your feelings.
As A psychologist who is studying couplesI often recommend fast surveys for couples. If you realize the answer “no” to all questions, there is a chance that you may be dissatisfied in your relationship, but you do not realize it.
1. Do you feel that you are in the same team during the conflict?
In relations, the conflict is both inevitable and necessary. But The way you fight It matters more than what you are fighting for. If it always seems that you are compared to your partner, instead of two compared to the problem, it is worth assessing why.
Tests In the matter of resolving conflicts, it shows that when both partners think that the dispute is resolved, they will find a way forward. But you can't rely on optimism; You need a common and clear strategy. Otherwise, the arguments may turn into emotional duels and sometimes lead to distance and injuries.
If your answer to this question is “no”, ask yourself: “What are we fighting for?” If the answer is not the relationship itself, sit together to discuss and restore what it really means being a team.
2. Can you be your most authentic yourself around your partner?
. The healthiest relationships Give you a place to breathe. Laughing loudly, ugly cry, make a mess and be strange. Tests He notes that people who feel safe in expressing themselves in an authentic, unlimited way are more likely to engage in healthier relations.
If you have to constantly remember to suppress part of your personality, you will slowly start to lose invaluable parts of your identity.
If you answered “no” here, you must stop and think. You deserve to be with someone who is not shudder when they meet your most real, honest yourself. Great partners see this as a special privilege. This should not be something that must be “tolerated”.
3. Are they really curious about your inner world?
At the early stages of Wooing, curiosity appears naturally. You want to know everything about yourself – what they think they see the world, which makes them tick. But later this curiosity may decrease.
Tests He claims that curiosity is a basic tool of emotional intimacy. If your partner stops asking questions about your thoughts, feelings or experiences, they will never learn new versions that are born every day.
“No” to this question may suggest that your relationship works on an autopilot. The partner who has really invested in you will ask, listen and continue to find out who you are.
4. Do they take responsibility when they break down?
Errors do not matter much, like how they are served after the consequence. Is your partner the owner of their disadvantages and tries to make everything right? Or maybe they avoid responsibility, become defensive and return to you?
Tests On the repair of conflicts, he teaches us that even the smallest gestures – recognition of error, offering honest apologies, and even using humor – can stop spiraling. But when responsibility is absent, you will finally start asking if you can trust at all.
If your partner never accepts property or consistently makes you feel “difficult” to cause a problem, there may be time for regrouping and considering what you have been invested. Honesty, humility and a real desire for better doing should be a normal norm in a relationship.
Mark TraversThe doctor is a psychologist specializing in relationships. Has a scientific degree at the University of Cornell and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the main psychologist Awakening therapyThe Teradrowia company, which provides internet psychotherapy, counseling and coaching. He is also a curator of the popular mental health website and well -being, Theraphytips.org.
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