The year China's famous traveling “auntie” found freedom

Sixty-year-old Chinese grandmother Su Ming had no intention of becoming a feminist icon.

She was just trying to escape her abusive husband when she hit the road in 2020. with his white Volkswagen hatchback with a tent on the roof and his pension.

“I felt like I could finally catch my breath,” she says, recalling the moment she walked away from her old life. “I felt I could survive and find the lifestyle I wanted.”

Over the next four years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries she shared of her adventures while chronicling decades of pain earned her millions of cheerleaders online. She was called “the traveling aunt” as she inadvertently became a hero for women who felt trapped in their own lives.

Her story is now the subject of a hit film, which was released in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and she made it onto the BBC's list of 100 inspiring and influential women for 2024.

It was a year of big moments, but if he had to describe what 2024 means. for her in one word, she says that word will be “freedom”.

As soon as Su Ming started driving, she felt freer, she told the BBC by phone from Shenyang – just before she headed south for the winter in her new caravan SUV.

But it wasn't until 2024, when she finally filed for divorce, that she experienced “a different kind of freedom.”

It took a while to get there: it's a complicated process in China, and her husband refused to divorce her until she agreed to pay him. They settled on 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400), but she is still waiting for the divorce certificate to come through.

But she is adamant that she doesn't want to look back: “I'm saying goodbye to him.”

In her new life on the road, Su Min's duty is to herself.

Her videos mostly feature just her. Even though she drives alone, she never seems lonely. She chats with her followers while filming her trip, sharing what she cooked, how she spent the day before and where she's going next.

Her audience travels with her to places they never knew they would long for—the snow-capped mountains of Xinjiang, the ancient river cities of Yunnan, the sparkling blue lakes, the vast grasslands, the endless deserts.

They applaud her courage and envy her the freedom she has embraced. They had rarely heard such a harsh first-hand account of the reality of life as a “Chinese aunt”.

“You are so brave! You chose to break free,' one follower wrote, while another urged her to 'live the rest of your life well for yourself!' One woman sought advice because she too 'dreams of driving alone' and a smitten follower said: 'Mum, look at her! When I'm old, I'll live a colorful life like hers if I don't get married! “

For some, the takeaways are more pragmatic but uplifting: “After watching your videos, I learned this: As women, we should own our own home, cultivate friendships far and wide, work hard to be financially independent, and we invest in unemployment insurance!”

Through it all, Soo Min processes her own past. A stray cat she meets on the road reminds her of herself, both having “suffered the wind and the rain for years, but still manage to love this world that pollinates our faces.” A visit to the market, where she smells chili peppers, evokes the “smell of freedom” because throughout her marriage, spicy food was forbidden by her husband, who did not like it.

For years, Su Min was the dutiful daughter, wife, and mother—even though her husband repeatedly hit her.

“I was a traditional woman and I wanted to stay in my marriage for life,” she says. “But in the end I saw that I got nothing in return for all my energy and effort – only beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting.”

Her husband, Du Zhouchen, admitted to hitting her. “It's my mistake that I beat you,” he said in a video she recently shared on Douyin, the Chinese TikTok platform.

A high school graduate, he worked at the Ministry of Water Resources for 40 years before retiring, according to local media reports. He told a publication in 2022 that he beat his wife because she was “fighting back” and that it was a “normal thing”: “How can there be no beatings and accidents in a family?”

Su Ming married Du Zhouchen “really to avoid my father's control and to avoid the whole family.”

She was born and raised in Tibet until 1982 when her family moved to Henan, a bustling province in the valley along the Yellow River. She had just graduated from high school and got a job at a fertilizer factory where most of her co-workers, including those under 20, already had husbands.

Her marriage was arranged by a matchmaker, which was common at the time. She had spent much of her life cooking and caring for her father and three younger brothers. “I wanted to change my life,” she says.

The couple met only twice before the wedding. She wasn't looking for love, but she hoped that love would grow after they got married.

Soo Min didn't find love. But she had a daughter, and that's one of the reasons she convinced herself that she had to endure the abuse.

“We're always afraid of being ridiculed and blamed if we divorce, so we all choose to hold on, but actually that kind of holding on is not right,” she says. “I later learned that it can actually have a significant impact on children. The child really doesn't want you to endure, they want you to stand up bravely and provide them with a harmonious home.'

She thought of leaving her husband after her daughter got married, but she soon became a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and duty called again. She felt she needed to help care for them, even though she had already been diagnosed with depression.

“I felt that if I didn't leave, I would get sicker,” she says. She promised her daughter that she would take care of the two boys until they started kindergarten and then leave.

The spark of inspiration for her escape came in 2019 while scrolling through social media. She found a video of someone traveling while living in their van. That's it, she thought. This was her way out.

Even the pandemic didn't stop her. In September 2020 she moved away from her family home in Zhengzhou and barely looked back as she passed through 20 Chinese provinces and more than 400 cities.

It's a decision that has certainly resonated with women in China. To his millions of followers, Su Min offers comfort and hope. “We women are not just somebody's wives or mothers… Let's live for ourselves!” one follower wrote.

Many of them are mothers who share their own struggles. They tell her they too feel trapped in stifling marriages – some say her stories have inspired them to leave abusive relationships.

“You are a hero to thousands of women and many now see the possibility of a better life because of you,” reads one of the top comments on one of her most viewed videos.

“When I'm 60 I hope to be as free as you,” read another comment.

A third woman asks, “Aunt Su, can I travel with you? I will cover all expenses. I just want to travel with you. I feel so trapped and depressed in my current life.'

“Can you have the life of your dreams?” Su Min pondered the conversation. “I want to tell you that no matter how old you are, as long as you work hard, you will definitely find your answer. Just like me, even though I'm already 60 years old, I found what I was looking for.”

He admits that it was not easy and he had to live meagerly on his pension. She thought vlogging might help raise money – she had no idea it would go viral.

She talks about what she's learned over the years and her latest challenge, finalizing her divorce.

“I still haven't received my divorce certificate because the law has a cooling-off period and we are now in that cooling-off period.”

One of her followers wrote that the money she paid her husband was worth every penny and added: “Now it's your turn to see the world and live a vibrant, unbridled life. Congratulations aunty – here's to a colorful and fulfilling future! “

She says it is difficult to get a divorce because “many of our laws in China are to protect the family. Women often do not dare to divorce because of family disharmony.”

At first, she thought Du Zhoucheng's behavior might improve with time and distance, but she said he still threw “pots and pans” at her upon her return.

He has only called her twice in the past few years – once because her motorway access card was linked to his credit card and he wanted her to pay him back 81 yuan (£8.91). She says she hasn't used that card since.

Undeterred by the divorce delay, Su Min continues to plan more trips and hopes to one day travel abroad.

She worries about overcoming language barriers, but she is confident that her story will resonate around the world – as it did in China.

“Although women in every country are different, I would like to say that no matter what environment you are in, you should be good to yourself. Learn to love yourself, because only when you love yourself, the world can be full of sunshine.”

Additional reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore